This blog is semi-friends locked.

For more information on how to view locked entries, please see here (or follow the cut).

there's so much more...

I want to krai; I am so desperate.




IS ANYONE GOING TO KOREA OR KNOWS ANYONE WHO'S GOING TO KOREA ANY TIME SOON.




There is a phone I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really want to get and it's only buyable there (no, you can't even get it online) ;_______________;



GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.




effing bloody haptic.


(met up with that girl I mentioned in my previous entry. she got a scholarship to do her first degree at Wesleyan (one of the top liberal arts colleges in the US) and then another one to do her postgrad at Oxford. She also turned down offers from Harvard, Dartmouth, John Hopkins etc to go to Wesleyan and got waitlisted at Brown and Stanford. yeah. it took her 3 months to finish writing her personal statement. shoot me please.)


HAPTICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

My future is wavery and uncertain again. :(

Will not be going to Beijing in September after all. Might be going in February. But might be starting university in AUSTRALIA in February just so I can do a double degree. Which means maiBeijing study plans in February would have to be cancelled. Might still go there to work though if I can get a visa (and sneakily plan maiwork stint around SuJu/SMTOWN's concerts?). Idek. My cousin may be in Hong Kong but she is still pulling all sots of magic strings and getting me one-on-one sessions with a whole bunch of crazily intelligent people. Like this girl who got scholarships to both Yale and Oxford and turned Oxford down. Then did post-grad at Oxford for free or something. D; And university Lit lecturers...........oh man. I'm not like Alea or GG. I totally cannot sit down and talk like a mature human being with this kind of people. Shoot me please. And do it before tomorrow night.


Have been watching My Name Is Kim Sam Soon! The first time I witnessed the gorgeousness that is Jeong Ryeo Won I just.......the word "jealous" cannot describe. EVERY TIME she came on screen I found myself envying her for absolutely everything - her hair, her skin, her clothes, her figure. ESPECIALLY HER FIGURE. Then in the episode I watched today I found out her character was supposed to be anorexic (plus suffer from stomach cancer). Which kind of makes me wonder about my idea of thinness. D: But whatever it is, watching her got me seriously motivated to lose weight like never before (plus the very recent revelation I had that the reason I look terrible in all my photos and thus never take them is because my face is far too fat) so because of this, I have been running nearly 4km uphill every day for the past week. (Though if I could run with my face, I would.) I think I am down to nearly 46kg already, but that's way far from enough. Waaaayyyyyy far from enough. I'm not going to stop till I can see my cheekbones. (Actually, I'd like to keep going then, too.) I'd start eating rabbit food if I didn't have such a huge craving for sweets and cakes lately.

It makes me wonder though. About everyone's idea of beauty. Because G always tells me all the guys I like are "the same type". 8D Idek, Ryo and Donghae? D: I don't know if that means looks or personality or both combined, but I sort of agree. Judging from the way the guy I fell in huge crush with in Singapore *coughahem* looks like, I think I sort of do have a type. He kind of looked like a DonghaexShawnLee hybrid. 8D; But I think the same thing might apply for girls too. Because, okay, let's compare some of the girls who I thought were really pretty from the very first time I saw them, like




Jeong Ryeo Won who I mentioned earlier. Speaks English with a semi-Australian accent. As if she couldn't get any perfecter.



Yoon Ah from SNSD. Hate her. Couldn't be bothered finding a nicer picture. But have to admit she's pretty. (So it's like a girlcrush I don't want to have, but technically since I'm a girl all girlcrushes are supposed to be girlcrushes I don't want to have. Hmm.)



Sun Mi from Wondergirls <33 Super cute and I couldn't find a nice picture so you're stuck with this one. Watch the Tell Me MV and your eyes will pop when she begins to sing (due to looks, not voice). :D



MAIKOHACCHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. Ah that looks like one strange long aboriginal word. Or like Tamagotchi language. Kusumi Koharu. MaiKoharin :D I LOVE KOHARU. Miracle haters can just....hate. Idc. :D Koharu got me interested in MoMusu in the first place, so yeah. 8DD


Anyway, looking at those four pictures, do you sort of see a pattern? Because I do, and I find it kind of amusing. 8D So if I blended those four together (they'd look exactly the same, really), would the end result be a portrayal of what my subconscious mind considers beauty? And how does it differ by person? There's a scientific theory that human beings fall in love or are attracted to people who resemble themselves. So does that mean I look like or see some of myself in not just those four girls up there, but Ryo and Donghae too? Um, don't think so. I only bring it up because at least six different people have told me before that they mistook a picture of Koharu for me or think we resemble each other, but I've really never seen it. Still, if anyone from Stefanie Ng to Yvonne to Ryouko can see it, idk. It could be a theory worth considering. D: Maybe my subconscious spots little parts of me in random people's features and then makes me feel like THIS is the ideal that I should be striving for, THIS is what beauty should mean to you. Whatever it is, LOOK AT THEM, THEY LOOK WAY TOO SIMILAR FOR THIS TO BE A COINCIDENCE. DD8

....Meh. I figure since I've started, I should enlighten everyone on my other girlcrushes too (since from the four listed above, the only serious relationship I'm in is with Koharin :3):



KASAI TOMOMI. a.k.a. Koharu's main competition. 8D When I first discovered her blog I read every single entry she had written since its very conception. XD She's so so so effortlessly pretty and it drives me crazy (er, not in the sexual sense. in the I'm-really-jealous sense. DDD:)


Now comes all the girls in mailayout. 8D THIS IS SHIHOMI. She was just another average super gorgeous girl-next-door till she won the PINKY model search and leapt into maicomputer screen. :D She's sososososososososososo pretty words cannot describe. I'm sure the picture does. Oh, and yes, she is one of the girls in maisidebar icon and appears in one of the teeny squares in maibanner :D


THIS IS RIENA. I LOVE HER. She's my favourite PINKY model (I find Seventeen and other magazines dead boring, but PINKY's models make it so much more readable :D). She's just so super kickass and cool. She is the other girl with Shihomi in maisidebar icon and appears in a grand total of nine squares in maibanner :D


SASAKI NOZOMI. She won the PINKY Model Search the year before Shihomi did. And she was the first female model to ever make me look at her and think "OMG I NEED TO PUT THIS ON MY WALL. NOW." She and Riena are ~*best friends*~ and she appears in three squares on maibanner :D


Suzuki Emi a.k.a. the daisenpai of modeling. I would never have started liking models if it weren't for her. She's just super hawt and totally intimidating, and I think she looks like Kitagawa Keiko but is much prettier. 8D She is in five squares and if you remember, my previous previous layout was dominated by her and her alone ^^


And this is totally random (and kind of a deviation from the rest) but, Sun Ye from Wonder Girls. 8D I only recently came to the realization that she is pretty hot and developed maicrush on her when looking desperately for Sun Mi pics just now. XD Sun Ye is the riidaa of the Wonder Girls. WONDER GIRLS FTW, BTW, JIC you didn't know. <3


There ARE other girls I like (Eikura Nana and Miyazaki Aoi are the other girls in my banner, plus the boob of some other random PINKY model 8D), and of course there's MoMusu (Reina <3, Sayu <3, Ai-chan <3) and I rabu Oshima Yuko and Mizukawa Asami. :D But I suppose those are more minor compared to these and I'm sure everyone is really creeped out and thinks I'm a closet lesbian already, so I'll just stop here. 8D;;;



I'M STRAIGHT, I SWEAR.




I don't know how I got here from my scientific wondering about the individual's perception of beauty, but okai. D8 I'd still really like to know how it all works, though.

Disclaimer: I just did some blog-surfing and honestly feel this blog is a complete brain drain, with close to zero serious content or any requirement for brain activity above the level of a newt. Not much flair for writing either. Nothing that screams "intelligent human being". WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? .........yeah, as if the newt would know. (I should consider putting this permanently in my sidebar)


~*~*back to your scheduled non-educational material*~*~



Mainew crush >.> (stolen from his Friendster)

His name is YONGDAE. ...No I did not just misspell Donghae. They have the same last name too. 8D

And he's only one year older than me *beams* He may not look that fantastic in the picture but I assure you he is much more attractive in motion. 8D


















Oh, and he's an Olympics gold medalist. 8D Today after winning his match he WINKED AT THE OLYMPICS CAMERA and my brain exploded. Had a minor palpitation. Did not expect to have fangirl impulses while watching the Olympics. My standards have risen much? XD *smirks*

Must go lose some weight, take nice pictures and then add him on Friendster. Lalala. :DDDDDDDD

[/random]


PEE ESU.



Hae's hair (or at least its side profile) in this picture is so amazing it makes me want to simultaneously cry and praise all hairdressers on the planet. SOMETHING ABOUT IT MAKES MAIHEART SKIP A BEAT. OR THREE. POSSIBLY CAUSING BLACKOUTS. There are also strong undercurrents of desire to do the traditional fangirl "OMG I WANT TO RAPE [insert name here] LIKE NOW." thing but I think that might scare some of the saner (read: non-fandom) people who read this blog so nvm. :'D I'll just live with saying um. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. :'D Also EunHae is ttly my OOOOOOOOOOOOTP and Eunhyuk has become mainumero duo in SuJu even though I used to wonder how anyone could possibly find him attractive so that is why maiMacbook is officially called EunHae. Unofficially it's called the Super Junior Mac (it's my super, junior Mac! geddit? 8DDD).

I'm done. No wait.



HELLO HYUKHAE. (Don't be confused, Hyukjae = Eunhyuk = Donghae's one and only. :D)

Eat your hearts out, Akame fans.

This song is AMAZING. omg. for srs. It's like a cross between Leona Lewis' Bleeding Love and Aoyama Thelma's Soba ni Iru Ne. I CAN'T BELIEVE THE MOST AWESOME JAPANESE SONG I'VE HEARD IN A MILLION YEARS COMES FROM DBSK (i.e. NOT JAPANESE).

LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG (this is a slightly shorter version for their LIVE SINGING performance).


Why did I fall in love with you?
No matter how much time passes you'd be forever
Here, though that's what I thought
But the path you've chosen is a different one

Why didn't I express anything to you?
My growing emotions every day and every night
The overflowing words
Though I knew what they were
Now they can't be received

From the day we first met
It felt like I knew who you were
The two of us melted into each other so naturally

No matter where we went we'd be together, you being there was only natural
We became adults together
But the path you've chosen is a different one

Why did I fall in love with you?
No matter how much time passes you'd be forever
Here, though that's what I thought
Now that can't be fulfilled

Today that carries a special meaning
Today where you stand with a happy face
You that pray to God with a beautiful figure
Next to a person that's not me
Your blessed figure
How should I watch and let you go?

Why did I fall in love with you?
The two of us of that time
Now can't be returned to (I've thought about it)
Now can't be returned to (I've thought about it)

Why didn't I grab your hand and take you away?
No matter how much time passes you should have been forever
By my side (Now it can't be fulfilled)

But though you may be separated from my side
For you to have happiness for eternity
Is all I pray for
No matter how lonely that may be
Even if it hurts


I'm crying just translating and listening to this song. TTT-TTT (Could be the hormones though, it's that time of the month. too much info?) It's SO SAD, and if you didn't pick it up reading the translation, it's basically this guy who's been in love with his childhood friend forever and only realizes this as he looks at her on her WEDDING DAY. *heart breaks into million pieces* DDDDDDDDDD; But because he wants her to be happy he doesn't say anything and prays for her happiness for eternity. ;_________; And if you didn't click on the link in the beginning of the entry,

LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG LISTEN TO THE SONG

It's really bloody amazing. I'm not even a DBSK fangirl. D; And I can't believe I thought the song would be just another boring slow ballad when I first looked at the title orz


THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY. LISTEN TO THE SONG.


End.